'OK, keep the deposit and do it all by yourself': Guy dumps girlfriend, moves out and maliciously complies with ex's ultimatum so she has to clean for once

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Nov 15, 2023 8:00 AM EST

It's important to be careful with your wording over text, especially if you're delivering an ultimatum to your ex. This woman was trying to threaten that if her ex didn't come to clean their apartment before he moved out, she would keep all of their security deposit. The trouble was that he had no interest in doing all of the work and was pleased to let her take the money. She did not anticipate that he might maliciously comply with her demands in a way that would make her have to clean the apartment for the first time in her life. 

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  • 01
    CORDLE "You either clean [...] or I keep the security deposit!"
    via No Revisions

  • This thread was posted to Reddit's r/MaliciousCompliance subreddit by u/Crafty_Math_6293, who had the unfortunate experience of having to live with his ex-girlfriend for the final month of their lease after he dumped for cheating. That final month was filled with attempts on his ex's part to try to get back together as well as attempts at sabotage. By the end of their lease, he had no interest in spending more time with her, especially as it related to cleaning their apartment (a task he took on for the majority of the seven years that they were together). So when push came to shove, he was happy to let her take the deposit if that meant not having to spend another minute in her presence.

    Keep scrolling below for the full story and the best reactions from folks in the comments section. For more stories like this, here's one about a shady landlord getting exactly what he deserved.

  • 02
    You should have better worded your threat because I saw it as an opportunity M OC Some years ago, I was 25M and broke up with my 24F gf. She had cheated on me after 7 years together and where we lived, we had a 1 month notice to leave our apartment.
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 03
    In order not to pay two rents, I had to wait until the end of the notice before moving out. In the end, she kept the apartment with a new roommate but we still had to pass the landlord's inspection to get our security deposit back. I moved out something like 5 days before the inspection date and living with someone you dumped for almost a month can be hard. She was either trying to convince me to stay with her, either trying to make my life miserable because I dumped her.
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 04
    As you can guess, when I moved out I wasn't thrilled to know that I'll have to come back some days later to refill holes, repair some stuff and clean the apartment with her before the inspection. But hey,
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 05
    I'll do it. So, just before leaving, sitting in my car about to start the engine, she tells me "You'd better really help me for the cleanup. You either clean really good or I keep the security deposit!"Maybe a bit of context was lost in translation because this discussion wasn't in english: the way she worded it could mean either a threat or a choice. The tone and context sure enough clarified that it wasn't supposed to be a choice.
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 06
    Some things to know: I sure don't love doing chores, but cleaning isn't an issue for me. For her, most of it isn't either but in the 7 years we were together she never cleaned the toilets or the bathtub drain (siphon?) because it disgusted her, so I did it and she did other stuff to compensate.
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 07
    Money-wise, I was a working IT engineer and she was a student. So the security deposit (~300-400€ each) may be huge for her but I didn't care that much.
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 08
    So I simply replied "OK". She looked at me a bit confused, not understanding my answer. I said "OK, keep the deposit and do it all by yourself". I didn't wait for an answer, drove off and when I arrived I messaged the landlord (with my ex in cc) telling them to send the full deposit to my ex and none to me and I never set foot in this apartment again.
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 09
    EDIT: I didn't think this post would have so much attention! Some info since people asked and not everyone will check the comments:
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 10
    • She kept the apartment but since my name was on the contract the landlord had to refund the security deposit and have a new one in order to make a new contract. Legal reasons I guess.
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 11
    ● Bathtub siphon = bathtub drain. English is not my first language, google translate said siphon and it seemed weird but close enough
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 12
    • Where I live, usually the landlords always find ways to keep at least part of the security deposit. This landlord was the exception and the first honest landlord I encountered and refunded her the whole amount.
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 13
    • I didn't trash the place before leaving or anything else because I didn't want to do a petty revenge or something like that. My goal was to get out and avoid seeing her again as much as I could, not take revenge.
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 14
    • This was more than 5 years ago and I had time to move on since, don't worry for me. I discovered this sub yesterday and it made me think about this story I was kinda proud of so I thought "let's share it".
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 15
    Live-Tomorrow-4865. 1 day ago I like the saying, "Oftentimes, the cheapest way to pay for something is with money." I've found it to be true in many situations. Well played. 2.0k Reply Share
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 16
    Crafty_Math_6293 OP. 1 day ago • edited 1 day ago I did not know this saying but I love it. I usually say "this may be expensive, but I value my time even more" (I edited because ironically enough, I worded it very badly) 715 Reply Share
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 17
    litsalmon 1 day ago That seems like a small price to pay to not have to clean the apartment and also stick it to her a bit. 1.9k Reply Share
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 18
    Red_Cathy 1 day ago Seems like a great deal she offered you, no way was all the time and hassle worth half the deposit. Nicely played. Hope you're doing well. 455 Reply Share
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 19
    Crafty Math_6293 OP. 1 day ago Yup, I'm sure paying someone to do this would have cost pretty much the same without even considering the fact not having to deal with her was way more valuable than the deposit.
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 20
    I'm doing well thanks, it's been more than 5 years and I moved on since then. I just discovered this sub today and it made me think about this event. 4 254 Reply Share
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293
  • 21
    Willow Everdawn 1 day ago In English we have a saying for moments like this: "Don't threaten me with a good time". 90 Reply Share
    via u/Crafty_Math_6293

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landlord security malicious compliance ex girlfriend malicious-compliance-reddit relationships girlfriend cheating breakup reddit thread Reddit toxic relationship dating apartment
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